How to Order at an Italian Restaurant Without Offending Nonna

Max Travel Abroad
May 20
2 min read

Updated: May 20

Written by Cindi Fries, Max Travel Abroad LLC - travel expert who believes in slow travel & second helpings.

Nonna’s Guide to Italian Restaurant Etiquette: Don’t Order Wrong

If you think Italian food is just pasta drowned in sauce and bottomless breadsticks, Nonna would like a word with you.

Ordering food in Italy isn’t just about filling your stomach—it’s about understanding deeply rooted traditions. Each course has a purpose, and respecting the rhythm of a meal will earn you better service, better food, and maybe even a nod from Nonna herself.

Here’s how to get it right.

Understanding the Courses

Antipasti – The Opening Act

Antipasti begin the meal and are often shared. Forget bread baskets. In many Italian towns, it’s common to stop at a local bar before dinner for an aperitivo—order a Spritz or Negroni, and you’ll often get a small plate of antipasti-style snacks included. These dishes reflect local ingredients and culinary traditions. Begin with something seasonal and local.

Caponata in Sicily
Baccalà mantecato in Venice
Prosciutto e Fichi ( if you’re lucky enough to be there in fig season)

Primi – The First Course

This is where pasta, risotto, or soup takes the stage—without meat or seafood. A real Italian primi lets the grains or sauce shine. Mixing them would confuse the kitchen—and Nonna. Primi dishes are often designed to highlight local grains and sauces.

Pici all’aglione in Tuscany,
Orecchiette con cime di rapa in Puglia,
Trofie al pesto in Liguria.

Secondi – Meat, Fish, and the Main Event

This is where meat or fish appears, as a stand-alone dish. It’s not served with pasta. Ever. Secondi are often simpler in presentation, allowing the quality of the ingredients to speak for themselves.

Osso Buco, Branzino
Pollo alla Cacciatora (hunter-style chicken),
Branzino al forno (oven-baked sea bass),
Arista di maiale (Tuscan-style pork loin).

Contorni – The Sides

Side dishes aren’t included by default. Choose something simple to go alongside your secondi—like Zucchine alla scapece (marinated zucchini), Patate al forno (roasted potatoes), or sautéed greens (erbette).

Dolci – End with Grace

Dessert is worth saving room for. Skip the overdone tourist picks and ask for what’s a regional favorite. Try Zuccotto in Florence. In Piedmont? Go with Bonèt. Near the coast? Torta della nonna is a solid bet.

What to Drink & When

An Aperitivo, like a cocktail, is meant for before dinner, often with antipasti. Wine is served with the Primi or Secondi. After the meal, order an espresso—never a cappuccino. Italians believe milk after midday is for children. If you want to know more about Italian coffee, read our post: Italian Coffee Culture: What Americans Think vs. What Italians Actually Order